bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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