So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Enjoy the penises
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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