I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
