I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Girls should come with a carfax report
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick