Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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