What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.