Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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(620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au

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(330): View more from Ohio

just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings

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(330): just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings http://tfl.nu/xqge

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(678): View more from Georgia

I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

(770): View more from Georgia

WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

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(678): I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama. (770): WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?! http://tfl.nu/mh7d

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.

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(609): I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'. http://tfl.nu/kkmi

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(516): View more from New York

making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"

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(516): making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage" http://tfl.nu/jy1p

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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(781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd

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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(972): I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip. http://tfl.nu/tlq7

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(515): View more from Iowa

oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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(515): oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer http://tfl.nu/4g9e

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(630): View more from Illinois

I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS

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(630): I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS http://tfl.nu/zymg

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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(912): Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute. http://tfl.nu/omad

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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(401): um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore http://tfl.nu/seg6

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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(724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl

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(347): View more from New York

Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.

(718): View more from New York

Truth. Respect the hustle.

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(347): Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess. (718): Truth. Respect the hustle. http://tfl.nu/ecql

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(+61): View more from Australia

As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

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(+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3

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(301): View more from Maryland

by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.

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(301): by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can. http://tfl.nu/1yox

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