Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.

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(516): Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits. http://tfl.nu/o0ux

Replies (86) Good night (1222) Bad night (2642)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me

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(978): literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me http://tfl.nu/9ayb

Replies (41) Good night (5770) Bad night (1306)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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(402): my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen. http://tfl.nu/06g9

Replies (2) Good night (4047) Bad night (1206)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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(267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn

Replies (13) Good night (4388) Bad night (841)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

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(402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c

Replies (30) Good night (8054) Bad night (1018)
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(619): View more from California

i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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(619): i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already http://tfl.nu/q3zb

Replies (39) Good night (2202) Bad night (4426)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird

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(303): Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird http://tfl.nu/672q

Replies (12) Good night (3209) Bad night (972)
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(740): View more from Ohio

he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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(740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj

Replies (24) Good night (5346) Bad night (2350)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

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(573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9

Replies (7) Good night (2605) Bad night (994)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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(484): whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks. http://tfl.nu/9g8j

Replies (7) Good night (2790) Bad night (516)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I like the way you think.

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(303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n

Replies (6) Good night (1712) Bad night (586)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog

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(440): I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog http://tfl.nu/oyfd

Replies (6) Good night (1617) Bad night (598)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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(859): he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club http://tfl.nu/kd8o

Replies (9) Good night (1180) Bad night (588)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Let's get weird.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's 10 am...

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm assuming that means you're not busy...

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(920): Let's get weird. (608): It's 10 am... (920): I'm assuming that means you're not busy... http://tfl.nu/aihn

Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (349)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again

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(602): I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again http://tfl.nu/of7p

Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (217)

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