Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick. http://tfl.nu/jjwi
  Replies (27) Good night (6482) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/xgvv
  Replies (42) Good night (5350) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk
  Replies (18) Good night (901) Bad night (2726)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh
  Replies (38) Good night (6335) Bad night (1561)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what to do

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  with your life?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i dont know what to do (1-732): with your life? (732): no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3 http://tfl.nu/i8yp
  Replies (17) Good night (5019) Bad night (2221)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (2303)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower. http://tfl.nu/pdns
  Replies (3) Good night (2042) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic http://tfl.nu/acyn
  Replies (6) Good night (4924) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it. http://tfl.nu/vxbj
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (1999)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys. (817): I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot http://tfl.nu/5unc
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name. http://tfl.nu/nb8i
  Replies (2) Good night (1019) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death. http://tfl.nu/x5xg
  Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment http://tfl.nu/bnot
  Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!! http://tfl.nu/fyj1
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination? http://tfl.nu/zisu
  Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (507)

Randomize