you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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