Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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