I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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