just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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