You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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