TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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