Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize