I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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