Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
