oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize