This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
