im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Couch. On fire.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
