you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm getting married
To pizza
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