I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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