office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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