Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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