Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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