Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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