Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i drank out of a bidet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All the doctor said was why
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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