well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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