My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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