I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You ruined the universe
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
