I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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