So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
