Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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