Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
