Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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