Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
