when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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