I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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