Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize