just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
