So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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