careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
