Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
