just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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