i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
