He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
