if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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