im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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