Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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