CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
