just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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