he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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