Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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