I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
