I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize