Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
