If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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