i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
