Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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