Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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