there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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