I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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