Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There r osticjed everywhere
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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