Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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